Sail

Sometimes,
I feel that i sails too far.
To be good
To behave
As people told me to do so

Every morning
I walk to the mirror.
What is see is the reflection
Of a living body
It still alive
But refused to live

Then from then, until now
I kept telling myself
Be nice
Love everyone
Then i will be safe

It makes me somehow
Missing all places that i've ever been
Missing me.

Sometimes
I just want to go out
And speak as much as i want
As free as i like

It makes me somehow
Searching for a place
Where finally i can turn my boat backwards
Where i can say to myself,
Enough is enough
Now is the time
To stop sailing

To paint the true colors
Just because its beautiful
To found yourself and be with it

But
I still
Can't stop sailing
Until i feel like
Letting my paddles drowning
And let myself go.

Helpless Soul

I know you dont want any help.
But when your world going upside down, who do you think will come?
Calling out your name,
Embrace you tightly.

I know you dont want any help.
They said, sooner or later is the same,
You're gonna destroy yourself.
No matter they try to help you.
But when you feel like scattered apart,
Who do you think
Will cry with you?

I've run thousand steps
Just to find where you are
Just to reach you out
I've been falling down many times
With scars on my knee
And my dry tears

But when i finally see you
You still hide.
I dont know how to find you anymore.
You dont want any help.

Secrets

Secrets as high as the mountains.
The more you keep, the more you loose yourself.
Im drowning between them.
Its just too much to bear.

Secrets as wide as the sky.
Sometimes it betrays you.
Sometimes it is so loyal, it is loves you so much.
Its just too fragile to hold.

Secrets as much as the sand in the dessert.
It doesn't know how to protect itself.
Someone have to guard them. Yourself.
Its just too tiring to keep.

Take a minute to swim around them,
When you arrives in the edge, faraway from them,
Then breathe again. Take some times.

Before finally you have to go back to them again.

The Box

I see him brought a box everyday.
He always hold it tight, there on his hand.
I meet him everyday, but i dont have any reason to ask.

We were in the empty aisle, waiting for the long lift. It was eighteenth floors.
He didn't look at me. Usual routine.
Ding.
The lift comes. Its only two of us going down.

I look at him and my mouth moves by itself.
"What is the box for?"
He looked at me. I should stop saying something unmindful. He looked away.
"...It looks empty." I continued. I exhaled the breathe.

It was on the tenth floor.
"Feelings." He finally answered. "Just feelings, aside those from your heart."
I look to the front, peeking the floors number. It is fifth.
"How so?" I didn't look at him.

He inhale his breathe. I can't see his expression.
Ding.
Second floor. He push the open button. The lift wide open.
He took one step. Then he stops.
"You don't have any box, aren't you?"

Then he went away.
I standing still. Lift closed.

One, Two, Three

One, two, three, as i count to myself.
I see you there.
I wonder how i should act in front of you.
Maybe i would just quiet.

One, two, three.
I can read you there.
You certainly have the other side. The one that you've always embrace.
I still quiet.

One, two, three.
Oh, i hate your other side. He is dark as the shadow. Empty and shallow.
Meanwhile you are the bright, full of laugh, love much.
Is he alone?

One, two, three.
Its not like a mask. Its more like a helpless soul.
His steps are so careful, sneaking around you, behind your smile. It stays like that.
I finished counting.

I have enough.
Im gone.