Burgundy

A friend once said to me that she is so envy of me. Of my life. The fact that i can go anywhere around without people calling me back, or the fact that i have economical support for my journey. She wanted to be me all along. She wanted to be someone who seems like easy to get a total freedom.
Dear, let me tell you one secret.
We are human being, i bet in each person, there are a lots of times we wanted to be someone else but us. We wanted to steal the body or the life of the others. We think like, 'Oh i wish i can be like that.' so oftenly.
You know what its called? Jealousy. Enviousness. Insecurity. And other hundred words with the same meaning.
Dear, i also have my times when i want to be someone else. And the times are different.
When i want to travel to some dangerous countries, lets say India, or Brazil. Which is really beautiful countries, but also highly dangerous. I really want to be a guy. That i am stronger, more free, and simpler. I dont have to shower for days and nobody would ask why. I dont have to comb my wet hair, wish it will be dry by itself under the sun. I dont have to be afraid of jumping into some random groups full of strangers when im travelling. I dont have to be worried of where i can sleep. I can just put newspaper in the random bench in the park and randomly sleeping.
Remember those times in high school that i can also envy of my friend because she is so cute and pretty, that she can get any guys effortlessly?
And i do look at myself in the mirror with dissapointment that i cannot be like her. My hair is not her hair, neither my eyes, my nose, and other parts.
But seriously, listen.
Every human being is different. But, they are same beautiful, same precious.
You dont have to be someone else.
If you are envy about my freedom, i too, envy about the family of yours. How you have a perfect complete mother and father figure, someone that willing to get you to dinner or lunch together, or someone that you can rely on, or even nicer that when you are faraway from home, they will always call you back. Thats why its called as 'home', a place that wherever you go, you will always comeback there.
Yeah. I envy that you have a home.
And dear,
My home is a jail. It feels like a cage and only very few people knows it. I can't stand living in my own home, so i prefer to go. To escape from reality. All along my journey, i still have to carry my key to go home, and the fact that i have to go back to the cage somehow.
You never know, isn't it? If only you knew, then i doubt that you still want to be me.
All we can do is get jealous of other people, but also you have to realize, you are also beautiful. We are all beautiful.
You can't be happy if you still thinking how to be like other people. You are yourself, you are unique, and nobody is quite like you. You can be yourself, there will be nobody blaming you for that. I might be envy of that, too, because i found myself struggling within my 20 years life to be truly myself. Its hard.
Be fully you. Because nobody can be you.


P.S;
Psst, and most of the time, i envy your burgundy hair :p