For You

Hey there, Granit.

Out of all the words that i usually say,
I want to say that
For me, hearing you laughing really means a lot.
It makes those things around alives.
So i hope you will laugh as loud as you can,
Hope that you still can keep your happiness inside
That will burst out like you usually do
With your laughs and smiles.

Hey there, Granit.
I would like to say that i kinda miss you everyday
Like there, there is Granit
And i would run approaches you with big, full smile on my face
That you would reply with the same smile
That i've seen thousand times, since long ago.

Hey there, Granit
You would not believe this, but
There are actually some days that i told the people stories about you
And i proudly say that
You are really matters for me.
And the people will start to curious
To know more about you
When they're asking me, what kind of person you are,
I would answer that,
You are like a sunshine.
Or like a sunflowers.
Bright, but
You just dont know how precious you are.

Hey there, Granit.
Remember the day you sit in front of me in the class?
That time i already decided
To extend my arms widely enough
To protect you
From any harms.
Eventough i failed for once.
Remember when you taught me Math
Which i dont really get it everytime
Because i just dont care about it.
Or you would told me a bunch of histories
Which i dont really listen
Because i just don't like history.
Or remember times to times you told me about planets
Like the moon, stars and the sea that you loves
The blue color of the sky, or the white line in the sky,
From airplane traces
And your favorite smell of the earth after the rains.
Simple little things. That i didn't really bothered.

Hey there, Granit.
Remember the day when we are already apart far away
Really, really far
And i brewed a cup of hot, sweet tea for my breakfast then streamed a morning news
I heard that the place where you lives just get a big earthquake
I put away my cup
And try to get myself to call
Which your number was not active.

Remember after i got your other numbers
Panically, call you afterwards
I finally hear your voice and
Its the most relieved feeling that i've ever feels.
Even after that you asked me why i being such a worried busy-body about you
That is a quite dumb question
Because knowing that you are fine,
Is a state of my bliss.

Hey there, Granit.
I won't say sorry, eventough
I did a lots of mistakes to you.
I did evil thoughts towards you.
Despite im a human
I also have dark side to be whole in myself
But i won't say sorry
Because if you are actually mad at me
I know i deserved it
But for some days, i have times of breakdown instead,
When you said its all okay
You are fine.
I dont have to worry.
Then you will say
Take care, be careful.

It makes me think
From that day
That i would loves you truly
As a human.
As a beautiful creature.
That i feel so blessed
To talk to you again
To be able to meet and
To see you again, frequently in between busy schedules
I feel so blessed, really.
To have you in my life.
Thank you for being there.

Hey there, Granit.
Maybe, maybe i just being such an egoistic
You can hate me for that
But
I did not really want you to change.
I did not really want you to disappears.
Which you will say that now
Games are faraway more important
Or
Your college friends are more important
But if i say that you are the most important person in this world for me,
And it never changes ever since the old days,
Then
Would you believe me?

Hey there, Granit
This might sounds weird
And i have to do double thinking for what i will say
But if i did not say it, i'm sure i will regret it
Like in the past, full of regrets
Full of griefs about what i've done wrong
So i will say it right now
Because i would never, ever, repeated it again.
And i promise myself that
I would never, ever, runaway from you again
Like i did before.

Three years ago, i was so careless
When you tried to call my name a lots of times already
Until you feel that your voices are wasted, and you only hurt your own throat uselessly
Then when you feel the call didn't work, you're trying to reach for a helping hand
Even just one from us,
Just one, that anybody actually can do easily, but
I still denied it
I leaved you hanging alone,
And didn't even help to catch you back when you're falling, hitting the ground,
Hard.

Hey there, Granit.
I would never asking you to open up yourself
Or to change yourself into someone that you are not
Or to be strong
And all the mainstream words people have said.
I just want to say that
Once in a while, everybody's hurt
Because of a lots of things
And once in a while, its okay to whining
As much as you can
Its okay to nagging around
Or even shouting to the sky
And cry as hard as you can
Take all the times you need
Just dont be
Concealed
Dont hide
Because if you keep hiding in your sanctuary
I might couldn't find you.
Then i will be a kind of wanderlust, searching for you.

Now, there there, all enough is enough
You just have to sit and rest
Throw all your unworthy feelings
Because now its my turn,
To try to put back your pieces that already scattered around like a broken mirror
Like a huge piles of puzzles, waiting to be a complete forms
To fix the cracked parts,
Of your heart that needs a super glue here and there,
To carry you in between the maze, for finding your ways again
To feel a little peace.
To walk along beside you whenever you feel alone walking just by yourself.
To always reminds you that,
You are loved.
To always hold both of your hands,
Tightly,
And embraces you back to be a whole.




Hey, Granit.
I won't leave you ever again.